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In general, I'm superstitious about telling too much about stories in progress, for fear of jinxing the inspiration. But I tried the WIP meme that's been going around, and found it...cathartic.


"True Brew"

Voldemort: Drink this potion, Snape. Now. Do you really really really like me? Honest?
Snape: Yes. *Dies*

Two days later.

Snape: Well. That sucked.
Lupin: You're an idiot.
Snape: Am not!
Lupin: Are too!

They have sex.

Snape: Am not!
Lupin: Are too!

"No Way Out"

[Events of JayKay's "In a Delicate Way" ensue here]

Sirius: Draco turned Snape into a hermaphrodite! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Snape: You're just jealous.
Sirius: Am not!
Snape: Are too!

They have sex.

Snape: Oops.

"Through the Front Door"

Voldemort: HAHAHA!!!!! Take that, Snape! *BlastBlastBlastBlast*

Snape: Where am I?
Hagrid: Hospital. *Knitknitknitknit*
Snape: What are you doing?
Hagrid: Knitting. *Knitknitknitknit*
Snape: Can you teach me how to do that so that I may rehabiliate myself and at the same time will have a hobby that fits the requirements of the challenge set for this tale?
Hagrid: Sure.

They live happily ever after.

"Fecundus"

Harry: Snape is Eeeeeevil!!! I will spend five years trying to find him in order to send his ass to Azkaban.

He finds Snape.

Snape: Whew. Glad you rescued me from those years of horrible torment.
Harry: Well, crap. How am I supposed to hate you now?
Snape: You can still hate me for continuing to be an utter prick.
Harry: That works.

Twelve years later.

Harry: Are you over your years of horrible torment yet?
Snape: No.

Five years later.

Harry: Over it yet?
Snape: Maybe.

Five years later.

Harry: Over it?
Snape: Yes.

They live happily ever after.
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December 2006

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